7 Questions to Ask Your Child While They’re Going Through Puberty

Puberty is like stepping into a new world — full of confusing feelings, physical changes, and endless questions. As parents, it’s easy to feel like you’re trying to catch a butterfly with chopsticks: delicate, fleeting, and just out of reach. That’s why asking the right questions can open doors for honest conversations that truly help. In this post, we’ll explore 7 questions to ask your child while they’re going through puberty, helping you connect with them when they need you most.

1. How are you feeling about the changes happening to your body?

Think back to when you first noticed your own body changing — maybe the awkward growth spurts, new pimples, or voice cracks. Your child might be feeling all sorts of emotions too, from excitement to embarrassment. Asking this question invites them to share those mixed feelings without judgment. I remember my friend’s daughter stared at her reflection for nearly five minutes, whispering, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Moments like that remind us how powerful this question can be.

2. What’s something about school or friends that’s been on your mind lately?

Puberty isn’t just about bodies — it’s also about navigating social worlds that shift overnight. Maybe your child is facing new friendships, peer pressure, or even bullying. By gently asking about school and friends, you show you care about their whole life. One mum I know noticed her son’s silence during dinner and simply asked this. His answer unlocked a floodgate of stories about friendship drama she never expected.

3. Are there any questions about puberty or growing up that you’ve been too shy to ask?

Sometimes the silence isn’t because your child doesn’t want to talk — it’s because they don’t know how. This open-ended question creates a safe space for curiosity. I recall overhearing a mother say, “Ask me anything, no matter how silly.” Her daughter finally asked about menstruation facts she’d been too scared to bring up in school, and they shared a laugh that eased tension.

4. What do you wish adults understood better about what you’re going through?

Puberty can feel isolating—like you’re the only person on a rollercoaster. Inviting your child to express what they feel misunderstood about lets them know you want to empathize, not lecture. A teen once told her mum, “Sometimes I just want you to listen, not fix things.” That simple admission changed how her mum supported her afterward.

5. How are you sleeping lately? Do you feel rested?

Sleep often takes a backseat during puberty, but it profoundly affects mood and wellbeing. Teens can struggle with falling asleep or waking up too early. Checking in on their rest is a subtle way to show you’re tuned into their health. When I asked my nephew this during a weekend visit, he admitted staying up late on his phone. It opened the door to a conversation about good habits rather than a lecture.

6. What’s something you’re proud of about yourself right now?

Puberty comes with a whirlwind of doubts—so spotlighting their strengths reminds your child what’s going well. It’s like giving them an emotional anchor amid the chaos. I remember my niece beaming as she told me about finishing a tough book at school. That proud moment kept her buoyed for days.

7. How can I best support you as you grow and change?

Maybe the most important question of all. This puts the ball in their court, empowering them to tell you what they need — space, advice, hugs, or just quiet company. When a mother asked this, her teen son surprised her by asking for weekly chats, which became their special time. It’s a simple question that says, “I’m here for you, however you need me.”

Wrapping Up

Puberty is like trying to assemble a complicated puzzle in the dark. But with these 7 questions to ask your child while they’re going through puberty, you can gently flick the switch and help the pieces fall into place — one conversation at a time. Remember, it’s not about having all the answers but creating a space where your child feels safe to share, ask, and grow.
So, next time you catch a quiet moment together, try one of these questions and see where it leads. Your willingness to listen might just be the greatest gift of all.

If you found this helpful, please share this post with fellow mums, and don’t hesitate to comment below with your own stories or questions! For more guidance on parenting through big changes, check out this related post.

For evidence-based tips on puberty and adolescent health, visit CDC’s Adolescent Health resources.